On Mother's Day I caught my reflection in a window and I saw my own mother looking back at me. My posture, my hair, my mannerisms. When did this happen? When did I start looking so mom-ish? When did the lines on my face become so deep and when did my body take this shape? When did I start moving my hands like that when I spoke? Why did this bother me?
In just two weeks I am turning 35 and I have noticed changes in my body. Characteristics that I would define as "aging" are now showing up on me.......but I don't feel like I'm aging, but it shocked me a bit and gave me that “what the hell am I doing with myself?!” feeling. Age is a funny thing. I remember when I was younger thinking that people at 35 would have their shit together and totally knew what they were doing. I've heard that your 30s is a time when you're a little more comfortable with yourself. I feel the opposite, but kind of in a good way. I feel the need to change and grow. In this time of vastly accessible information, I feel like there is so much to still learn. I can change my patterns and my path whenever I want to.
I decided that it’s time to be thoughtful with myself and look internally rather than try to control things outside. It's time to reflect and release. It's time to stop fighting the wrinkles and the changes. Explore the things that bother me and accept or change them. I have the power over my reactions. It’s time to listen to the advice that I would give to someone else.
Love to you,