Shayna and I were catching up over the phone this morning on the way to work and discussing how challenging it can be to get through to our children about listening and helping. Neither of us have Phds or graduated from fancy colleges for phycology. We are just Moms that are trying to make it through the day feeling like we have been our best self. With that being said, you can see why we love affirmation cards and how they are designed to be a quick and easy way to help us out. I'm getting off track! Shayna was saying how overwhelming it can be doing everything herself and how she is trying so hard to communicate with her two boys to get help in daily life and with chores! As women and Mothers we end up doing everything and then hitting our breaking point and snapping on our partners and kids. The ones we love the most seem to take our biggest explosion. It is a sick cycle that month after month repeats itself. So then how do we make it work? How do we get the support we need?
The solution for my family is- TEAMWORK TO MAKE THE DREAM WORK! When I think back at life 100 years ago it was simple and basic. Everyone HAD to help to survive, life was simpler and less overwhelming with less stuff to do every single day and even less material things to keep track of. Life for us parents in 2018 is beyond overwhelming and crazy. I find myself stepping back to basics quite often because if I don't then I go crazy. Something I talk to my girls about pretty frequently is teamwork. I work two jobs and my husband works 5 days a week during the day also. We are busy with just that schedule alone and then you throw in pick ups and drop offs at school, homework, lunches, grocery shopping and those random things that seem to always pop up. In my house everyone has a job. I've hit the wall so many times trying to do it all myself that I finally decided that I would take the extra steps to teach my husband how I grocery shop, what exactly I buy, how to cook to save money when feeding five mouthes. I teach my daughters how to separate their laundry and get it washed, how to feed our dog and cat every day, pick up dog poo and how to be responsible for the stuff we leave around the house. Everyone has a job! My girls don't earn money to help pay for food and rent so they pitch in around the house. My oldest has been doing this so long she even helps the other two to stay focused. It has been a lot of work on my end to stay up and remind everyone but I feel like we have a different kind of need for each other because of this. After a complete nervous breakdown a couple months ago, I bought a big dry erase board calendar and grocery list magnet for our fridge. That simple step alone has helped everyone pitch in. My husband sees that there is stuff we need and it states what store it can be found and he takes care of it!!! We switch off weeks grocery shopping so not one person is struggling to keep up. He sees what nights I'm working that week/month and what events we have going on for the month and we are able to plan ahead. It is a BIG change (for small steps) at first but then gets easier and for us it was just those basic changes that shifted our family. It does take a lot of energy to make these changes and to talk to you kids about everyone helping out. I laugh now but I always remind my girls that if I have help then its easier for me to be a calm and patient mama because I'm not pressed to my emotional and physical limits. If I am not receiving help and trying to do the work of five people plus two jobs then I'm going to lose my shit and I'm will hit a wall and explode no matter how hard I try not to!! And I had some guilt with this initially because I had some emotional conditioning that told me that good Mothers balance it all. But that is not true and balance looks different for everyone. I truly feel like my family has been stronger since making the changes and I know that I am feeling less stressed and I have time to do things that fill my cup.
Thank you for listening! Sending LOVE AND LIGHT! Lauren Tannehill