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Truth is, it's been a rough day


     The truth is, it's been a rough day. Wait no, it's been a tough last 10 months and I'm tired of making myself okay because of some new age spiritual crap that tells me that I have be okay and tell myself I am okay. It's NOT OKAY, I'm not okay. Shit sucks and I don't want to feel like I have to say it will get better when it doesn't feel like it. 

     Truth is, how do we open ourselves to help if we are always okay? Physically or spiritually, intervention can't happen if we are already okay. When did it become inconvenient for people to share sadness? When did I start telling myself, I got this, I can do it, I can handle it, I'm okay? I am closing the door for help emotionally, spiritually, and physically if I'm already okay. Well, I'm f-ing tired! I want help, I'm hurting and I can't fix this alone! I need help spiritually and physically and emotionally!

     Last night on the way home from work at 12am, I cried, I sobbed, I got real f-ing clear and honest about how bad I am hurting and then guess what- I did it all again this morning. And for once, I didn't make it okay because I'm not okay. Just surviving is not okay. Once I tapped all the hurt, I stated what I needed help with. I said honestly and specifically what I want for my life and what I need to blossom. I have too much divine potential to just survive, I have big goals, I dream BIG, I have worked for it, I am ready!  

Are you still making it okay? Do you want your life to be just okay or do you want it to be everything you always dreamed of????

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